Dean and I
by Moorid00
Summary: I lost my family in a hunt gone wrong, outnumbered, exhausted, in swooped my knight in denim and leather. The boys took me in, honed my skills, became my best friends and brothers in arms. Sam my shoulder to cry on, the best friend I'd ever had and Dean, the love I couldn't let myself have out of fear.
1. Chapter 1

Dean and I

By J. Tupper

In the year since living and hunting with the boys I learned a few new things, Sam always hides his expensive frou-frou shampoo in the same spot in the showers, Cas can sit cross-legged like a little child for hours listening to you read to him, and you can make Dean do anything with the offer of making a fresh pie at home in the bunker. I had already grown up in a hunter family so I knew my fair share, but the boys brought a more human aspect to being a hunter. I was always raised to kill, kill, kill, there is no grey area, just bad. My father always told us stories that we were descendant from great hunters and had skill, agility, and hunting in our blood. That we'd never fall, never fail. That attitude was exactly what got my whole family killed, my Father, Mother, Brother, and Sister. It wasn't for the boys tracking the same nest of vampires, I would have been dead myself.

I saw my family slaughtered one by one. Skill had been waylaid by ego and my Fathers pride was what did him in first. He was so sure he had the strength to charge in head first, without thinking, catch them unaware. Ego is a terrible thing. They toyed with my Mother while they sliced my Sisters throat, making her watch as they tore my Brother limb from limb. They attacked my Mother all at once to silence her screaming. I was all that was left, I was backed up against a tree, raging with vengeance and seething with hatred. It didn't matter if I lived or died at that point, as long as I took a few down with me. Six gathered in front of me frothing at the mouth, debating on whether to kill me in retaliation for killing their kin, eat me, or turn me and watch my pain as I became one of them.

The boys appeared out of nowhere and took two of them down without much of a fight as the vampires were so focused on me. Seething red, I beheaded one and stabbed the other in the heart before cutting off his head screaming obscenities. Angered, injured, devastated and totally exhausted, I passed out. I could hear fighting in the distance, but it became a blur and everything went black. The last thing I remember was a voice saying, "she's awesome." I woke up in a motel room a few hours later, having my injuries cleaned up by Sam. I knew who they were the instant my eyes laid on them, not a hunter alive doesn't know these two. The Idiots who started the Apocolypse and the Idiots who stopped it.

"Hey take it easy. You've got a pretty bad gash on your forearm and another on your shoulder. I'm going to need to stitch it up ok?" He spoke with concern.

"Over on the chair, beds shake too much for stitches, more painful." I croaked out, achingly got out of the bed and tried to steady myself. Dean grabbed my arm as I wavered and helped me to the chair. I can remember that night as easy as it was yesterday.

"Was that your family or were you trying to save them?" Dean asked. He sat on the bed across from me handing me a beer, a look of sadness on his face, he already knew the answer.

"My family. We were tracking a nest of Vampires that had blown through our neck of the woods, but...pride goeth before the fall." Tears streamed down my face.

"So you're a hunter? We didn't know there were any hunters on this case." Sam spoke up, his voice so calm and soothing.

"Nomads really, hunting never did leave an opening for a real home. We traveled around the country in a beat-up RV. Dad said we were descendant of great hunters and it was our duty to kill all monsters. I know it sounds crazy but he swears up and down claims that were my Sister and I got our intuition from." I cracked open the beer and chugged.

"Sounds familiar, are you...are you a Cromwell? I remember reading something about the Cromwell family of hunters in Dad's journal." Dean sounded impressed, almost smiled but stopped himself remembering they just salted and burned my family.

"Yes I am and you are Apocalyptic Seal Breaker and Demon Blood."

"Huh, well yeah I guess you know all about us then." Dean the charmer, so poetic.

"Get some sleep, in the morning we'll swing back and get your things and your coming home with us if that's alright with you?" Sam helped me back to the bed and covered me up.

"Safer with the Winchesters than on my own, but don't expect me to be happy or functioning for a while, I just might go on a bender to feel something other than this."

"No better drinking buddy than me sweetheart." That fantastic Dean charm. I stuck my tongue out at him and drifted to sleep.

That night changed my whole life. The boys offered me a home, training and a partnership, I brought home cooked meals and sarcastic wits the sights they'd never seen. Sam said the bunker seemed more like home after I came along, a respite from Dean and his 'antics'.

The first couple of months seemed to fly. Hunting was interesting, to say the least. Most of the time I seemed to end up being bait for whatever we were hunting. Not the worst thing in the world I suppose taught me how to hide things on my body. It's amazing the things you can cram into boots, not to mention my bra. That was always the one area monsters never searched, imagine that. My family would never have done anything like that. It was altogether in a group that way everyone's back was covered. He was too afraid of losing us to let us go alone on hunts. Hunting with the boys was like amateur hour compared to my family, but it also taught me to rely on myself more instead on what I grew up with.

Sparring with Dean in the bunkers gym was always a highlight. He taught me tricks my parents never did and honed some skills I already had. He would try to catch me off guard but time after time he failed, always ending up on his back on the floor. He'd play mad but we both knew he enjoyed it. Sam could fight but chose not too, he thought I'd be better helping him research. Always impressed by my ability to speed read through large volumes and still retain the information, not quite a photographic memory but close enough.

I spent my days in the bunker in either in the shooting range, or the gym. I still had flashbacks of that night and my family. I still had plenty of issues to work out, anger and fear so those two spots in the bunker were like second nature to me. Practice with various guns started throwing knives and tomahawks. Either come in handy out on a hunt and either is easy to conceal. I would just put in my earbuds, blare some classic rock and fire away. The boys let me work out my inner demons without complaint, hell we all have them to some degree. I had money left over from my family stashed away so I didn't feel so bad about wasting the bullets, I always replaced more than I used. I could never catch him, but I was always aware Dean was in the range watching me. You could smell him, cheap soap, leather, engine grease and whiskey.

The nights were harder, I couldn't get a handle on my nightmares. That first night in the bunker I woke sweaty and screaming. Sam came running into my room and calmed my fears. He sat with me and talked until the wee hours of the morning. He knew the anguish of the nightmares, my sympathetic shoulder to cry on. He became my best friend that night by letting me cry until no more tears came out. When the tears dried up, I told him about growing up a hunter. We exchanged stories and shared a few beers, then he held me tight until I fell asleep. This became a nightly ritual for the first month I was there. I would wake up screaming and he would come running. He'd climb into bed with me, hold me tight and just talk. Nothing funny ever happened, he never once stepped out of line, he just knew how I felt and how I needed someone. Even though Sam was the first one to come running that night I could smell Dean. Almost every night he hovered out in the hallway, sitting against the wall, listening to me talk. No one ever acknowledged he was there or that he did it every night, but every morning he'd smile and bring me a coffee.

The nightmares only lasted a little over a month before they subsided, but that didn't deter Dean from stopping by each night with the offer to talk, but as soon as Sam would stop by to say goodnight, he'd mumble something about chick flick moments. Sam would smile and laugh and I still have no idea why it was funny.

Grocery runs were interesting. I didn't understand how Dean could eat junk food day in and day out and stay in shape, it was a medical anomaly. It always felt like we were shopping for either a middle-aged vegan or a teenage boy. Both seemed like they had bottomless pits. They were spoiled rotten though, I could bake like there was no tomorrow. Dean couldn't wait to get into the kitchen to see what pie I baked that day.

I had almost read a quarter of the books in the library after the first three months of living in the bunker. If we weren't on a hunt, my time not spent in the range or gym, I was curled up in a leather chair in the library. I learned more from those books than I ever had from my family. I would get so wrapped up in those books hours would drag by. Sometimes I'd stay up too late reading and would wake up in my own bed. Sam swore up and down that it wasn't him that would move me. He would just smile and point at Dean when he wasn't looking. The months flew by, reading, shooting, working out, hunting, rinse and repeat.

I'd lose all sense of time until the boys would come home from their trips to the bar. I used to go with them but it was always the same, Dean would hit on anything with tits, Sam would give him bitch face over his choice, Sam would spend the rest of the night talking to me about anything under the moon while shaking his head disapprovingly at Dean. Guys would periodically come up to the booth and try to hit on me and one by one they'd learn to regret it.

"Hey sweetcheeks, how bout you give old college boy the heave hoe here and come dance with a real man?" He was the third drunken idiot to hit on me that night.

"Beat it Clay Aiken, if I wanted to listen to a whiny bitch I would have stayed a lesbian." Shocked and taken aback the drunkard left the booth but not before calling me a bitch. I stuck out my foot and tripped him up, he landed flat on his face. I could see Dean out of the corner of my eye talking to the bouncers. They walked over and escorted the asshole out the front door and Dean went back to chatting it up. I hated to see Dean with other women, but I could never admit that I'd fallen for him.

Sam watched my eyes, he followed their gaze across the room to Dean. He was chatting it up with the new waitress, giving her some of his lame ass lines.

"So, how long have you been in love with my brother?" He smirked.

I almost spit out my beer. "What!? Me in love with Dean? Nah Nah Nah, no I'm not in love with Dean. I mean you guys are like my brothers. Wouldn't that be Wincest or something" I tried to deflect with my classic sarcasm?

"That was not convincing at all. Seriously, how long?" He just smiled, he wasn't making fun of me in the slightest, he seemed genuinely curious.

I chugged my beer and sighed, "Sam, it's just, I can't, if I admit that then it will screw everything up. You guys are my only family now, I can't just admit it and throw that all away because... damn Sam, I'm not his type. I'm not big titted and dumb. He seems to think I'm nerdy like you. Hell, last week I heard him telling Cas that he didn't understand why you and I weren't dating already."

"Don't worry, Dean's as oblivious to you as you are to him. You two are like to high school kids that can't man up and tell each other how you feel."

"Whatever Sam...wait what?!" I couldn't believe what he said my hands flailed and I knocked the rest of my beer off the table. The shattering glass caught the attention of those around the bar including Dean. He tilted his head with a curious look on his face, Sam just grinned back at him like an idiot and my face went full on red. I tried to cover my face with my hands. Dean walked over and handed me a new beer.

"You alright? Sammy boring you to the point you had to created a distraction just to get me to save the day?" He smirked, classic Dean.

"I uh, no, he just, we were just talking about..." I couldn't think of anything to say, his eyes just pierced through my soul. He winked at me.

"Don't wait up for me, I'll catch a ride home." He tossed the keys to Baby to Sam as he walked back to the bar where the waitress was eyeballing him adjusting her push-up bra.

"Think about what I said. He's making us think he's going home with her, but he's not. He'll wait until we leave then give her some excuse, sneak in the bunker and hide in his room until morning. He's been doing that for the last month now."

"Then why can't he just say something. I'm not a total idiot, I see him staring at me all the time. He's saved my ass a few times on hunts, last month when we were up in Oregon chasing that Wendigo, I woke up to him holding my hand in the car."

"See, doesn't that tell you something?"

"No, no it doesn't because that was the same trip I woke with you spooning me yelling about saving you from the clown." I laughed and smacked his shoulder. I could see Dean out of the corner of my eye glaring at Sam. "You guys think of me as your sister, he can't love me, its fine, besides he should know better by now Sam. You're my best friend, hell the only friend I've ever had in my entire life that wasn't my actual family. If its alright with you, I'd like to go home now. This has been a stimulating conversation but I would like to get some sleep." I stood up and pulled Sam out of the booth, he started laughing and acted as if he weighed a thousand pounds. Dean walked over shaking his head.

"Yeah that's not gonna happen, she's uh...on her monthly." He was clearly lying, Sam and I could see her waiting for him toward the back of the bar. "Let's roll." He winked at me and pulled Sam outta the booth a little too roughly.

The ride back to the bunker was odd and silent. As soon as we got home I bid the boys good night and walked to my room. I couldn't get the conversation with Sam out of my head, I wasn't as tired as I thought anymore. I picked up my iPod, shoved my earbuds in and picked up the guitar. I strumming along to Peace of Mind by Boston. The music was too loud for me to hear the boys arguing in the library.

"Dean, I wasn't hitting on her. We did the same thing we always do, we talked about hunting, our lives and you. She doesn't like me like that you jerk. She's in love with you, she admitted so tonight." No one was better at resting bitch face than Sam, he was tired of Deans shit. "She loves you, you idiot."

"She was hitting on you Sam, I saw it with my own eyes. She was touching you and laughing, the way she smiled at you. You know how I feel about her Sam, why would you do that?"

"Dean, I swear to you, she thinks of me as a brother, her best friend if you will, there's nothing there. I've been friend-zoned Dean, why do you think she always bunks with me out on the road, because there are no feelings what so ever. She loves you, you oblivious moron. She's constantly baking you pies you idiot, there isn't a flavor under the sun she hasn't made for you because she knows you love it. She doesn't make them for me idiot, she does it for you."

"She loves me, she really loves me. Me?" He slumped down at the table and put his hands in his head. "Sam, she's just so damned perfect. She just does something to me, I can't explain like I would take on the whole world just to see her smile. She looks past all the bullshit and sees me, not the soldier, not the hunter, me. I want her so bad, but I don't deserve someone like her."

"I know, you've loved her forever, believe me I know, she's all you ever talk about when she's out of the room. I don't even think you know you're doing it." Sam grabbed them each a beer out of the mini-fridge and sat next to him. "She loves you and you deserve each other, you guys seem to balance each other out. Even Cas thinks you two are meant to be."

Dean was about to speak when he was cut off by music. They could hear my guitar all the way in the library, I guess I didn't shut my door all the way closed. The boys picked their heads up when they heard me singing.

"Is that-?" Sam didn't need to finish his question. They already knew. Dean got up and followed the sound to my room and sat against the wall by my door. "What are you doing?!" Sam whisper yelled, Dean just shushed him. He leaned his head toward the door to get a better earful.

"She's amazing," Dean whispered. They both sat and listened to me for awhile. I started strumming The Weight by The Band, I was midway through the song before Sam noticed Dean was crying. Dean wiped his face and looked at Sam and whispered, "See what I mean Sammy, she's an angel. I can't make her as happy as she's just made me in the last few moments."

"Trust me, Dean, just tell her." Sam got up and offered Dean his hand, "Come on let's get some sleep." They weren't up and more than three feet from my door when they heard me start crying. Dean slowly crept toward the door and peeked in. It wasn't a song he was familiar with, he tended to stick to oldies, but the melody and words just gripped his heart. He had to hold onto the wall watching me, it affected him that much. Sam stood behind him to see that I was okay. I sat on my bed, guitar in hand strumming, Say Something by A Great Big World. My eyes were closed and I just plucked away, swaying from side to side. Tears streaming down my face, the earbuds still in place. I belted out the words thinking no one could hear me, how stupid I was.

 _Say something I'm giving up on you_

 _I'll be the one if you want me to_

 _Anywhere I would have followed you_

 _Say something I'm giving up on you_

 _And I'm feeling so small_

 _It was over my head_

 _I know nothing at all_

 _And I will stumble and fall_

 _I'm still learning to love_

 _Just starting to crawl_

 _Say something I'm giving up on you_

 _I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_

 _Anywhere I would have followed you_

 _Say something I'm giving up on you_

 _And I will swallow my pride_

 _You're the one that I love_

 _And I'm saying goodbye_

 _Say something I'm giving up on you_

 _I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_

 _Anywhere I would have followed you_

 _Say something I'm giving up on you_

 _Say something I'm giving up on you_

 _Say something_

I stopped playing, put the guitar on the floor and just wept. "Oh for fucks sakes, he can't love you, you're an idiot. There's nothing special about you." I threw my iPod across the room, Sam dashed to the side so as not to be seen. The iPod pinged off the door and it creaked open. I could see Dean standing there, his eyes were misty and red. "Um you okay, I was just...yelling about a book I was listening too, you know stupid characters doing stupid shit." I knew better, he had a look about him like he was staring at the stars for the first time in ages. A glimmer of hope flashed across his eyes. "You heard me singing didn't you?"

He shook his head yes, "Sorry, I heard you and I've been sitting out there listening. Your voice, it's the most beautiful thing I've heard. I didn't mean to intrude, I just couldn't stop listening. I uh, I'll leave you alone." He turned and walked out passing Sam in the hallway as he went to his room. He shut his door and proceeded to search for the last song I sang online. He plugged his headset in and listened to the song on repeat until he fell asleep.

Sam popped his head around my door and knocked on the frame. "You alright, what was that about?" He knew damn well what that was about but tried to feign ignorance. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Nope, um I mean, he was sitting out there listening to me? Was I that loud, I thought I shut my door?" I flashed embarrassment and shame across my face because singing was something I did alone, I never sang in front of anyone, it was my refuge, the vulnerable side I kept hidden.

"He was crying, Dean doesn't do that without a valid reason you know, no chick flick moments. Whatever you sang got to him. I told you, he wuvs you." He smiled a giant idiotic grin until I tossed a pillow at his face. "Good night," he said as he made kissy sounds down the hallway.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Two weeks later we were on a case, rolling through a small town on a hunt for a shifter and things didn't go so well. I was off my game thinking about that night with Dean. He'd barely talked to me since that night, I could see him glancing in my direction but the conversation was minimal at best. I didn't understand, Sam had said he was into me but I felt like I was getting the cold shoulder. My mind was scrabbling too hard thinking about it that I didn't notice the figure stalking down the alleyway toward me. I thought it was Dean, but my night just wasn't that lucky.

"Hey any luck finding the shifter, I haven't seen anything come down this way yet." I should have known by the way he looked at me, it was too late before I saw the glow of his eyes. I tried to stab him with my knife but like I said my head was clouded and not on the hunt. I felt a stabbing pain in my side and heard yelling down the alley. A shot ran out and then shifter fell. I could hear Dean and Sam yelling as their boots pounded down the bricks. I grabbed my side and slid down against Baby, the pain was excruciating. I wanted to scream but I knew it would just bring more attention to the area. Dean was screaming my name, he fell on his knees next to me. Sam went straight for the Shifter to make sure it was dead.

"Look at me, are you hurt?" His hands on my face.

I coughed, "He looked like you, I let my guard down, he got too close and I didn't act fast enough. Damn my side is killing me, he fucking stabbed me." I must have been losing a bit of blood at that point, everything started to go fuzzy. Deah moved my hands away from the wound, he looked up at Sam. He took off his jacket and his flannel and pushed his flannel against my wound.

"Its a clean cut but we gotta get you stitched up before you lose too much blood." He threw the keys at Sam and picked me up. He sat me down on his lap in the backseat of the car and held pressure against the wound. "You'll be alright, I promise. A shot of whiskey, a hot burn, and some stitches. You can hold my hand, punch my face, I don't care, but it's going to hurt. You'll be alright, I swear." He held one hand on my wound and the other was stroking my hair. "Hurry Sammy."

They had placed me on the table in our motel room. Medical supplies on the chair next to me. Dean stood on one side and Sam on the other. Dean had turned the television on to mute any noise I might make. He wasn't kidding, it hurt like a bitch. I took a shot of whiskey, yes I know its a stupid thing to do in blood loss but damn it, it helps the pain. Sam poured some whiskey around the wound and stitched up as fast as he could. I wanted to scream so bad. After the first couple of stitches, I grabbed Deans wallet out of his jeans, shoved it into my mouth and bit down. I shook my head and Sam kept going. The pain was agonizing but that's what you get as a hunter. It's not like you can go into a hospital for every wound, too many questions, and authorities. You had to get used to the rough and tumble Wild West style medical treatment as a hunter.

"Alright, its time to...you know. The stitches aren't doing much to stop the bleeding, I have to cauterize, I'm sorry. This is gonna hurt." Sam looked horrified at having to cause me more pain. Pain seems to be the only constant as a hunter.

Dean held my hand and stared into my eyes. I could hear Sam heating up the edge of his knife. "You look straight at me dammit, look in my eyes, don't look at the knife, look at me. Sam, on the count of three. One, two.."

I knew it was a rouse to trick my brain. Sam placed the knife on my wound at the count of two. I bucked a bit to fight the pain but Dean grabbed my hand harder and pushed against my shoulder, those green eyes piercing into mine. His eyes misting up, he was clearly in pain, guess he couldn't stand to see me hurt. The pain started to subside and retreated into a pulsing throbbing. Dean still stood there holding my hand, Sam went into the bathroom to get another wet cloth to reclean my wound before bandaging me up.

"Don't you ever scare me like this again, you understand?" He sounded so angry but we both knew it was to hide the fact that he was really scared. This whole thing freaked him out and he wasn't dealing with it so well. All I could do was smile and nod, I was tired and completely drained. Sam came back with a cloth and tried to be as gentle as possible while cleaning off the blood from around the wound. Dean still holding my hand started humming. I couldn't place it at first and then it hit me, he was humming the last song he heard me singing that night, Say Something. I could see Sam out of the corner of my eye with a grin on his face.

As soon as Sam was done and I was all bandaged up, he handed me some painkillers and a bottle of water, I didn't realize how thirsty I was. I tried to sit up but Dean was there, he slowly helped me up and carried me to the bed. He held me against his body and kept on humming while trying to drape the blankets around us. My head on his chest, I wrapped my arm around his stomach. He held on tight with his right arm and stroked my hair with his left. "Just relax, I've got you, get some sleep." The humming started again. I was in and out for a while. Long enough to hear a conversation between him and Sam.

"Dean, she'll be fine, it was a clean cut, just a lot of blood." Sam tried to sound reassuring, "We've had worse, she's tougher than you, stubborn too."

Dean let out a small laugh, "yeah she is. Too stubborn to cry, I'm sorry but that was kinda hot. She took that a lot better than I thought, my wallet didn't fare so well but whatever."

Sam laughed, "I bet you $20 she'll have a new wallet for you in your room by the end of the week because she feels guilty for pulling a Jaws on that one."

"Nah I wouldn't dream of getting rid of this one now. A memento from the night I realized I can't live without her." He stroked my hair and glanced down at me. He watched the rise and fall of my chest.

"Tell her Dean, this is getting a bit silly. You're not high school kids, man up, she won't wait around for you forever you know. One of these days she'll go home with someone and it won't be you." Sam was right, but Dean couldn't admit it.

"I can't tell her that now Sammy, she'll think it was just from her getting hurt and me feeling guilty. Its gotta be right, like during dinner or something. I'll figure it out Sammy, for her, its gotta be right." I could feel his lips kiss the top of my head. That's the last thing I remember about that night.

Two weeks had gone by, the hunting had been slow at least that's what the boys had told me. I'm pretty sure they shifted cases they found off on other hunters while I rested up. The first couple of days Dean wouldn't let me out of bed, he acted as if I was crippled and needed to stay in bed. He brought my meals, carried me to the bathroom, stood by with his back turned at the ready if I needed him while showering. Finally, on the 14th night, he deemed me well enough for a night out on the town. A well-deserved trip after being cooped up in the bunker for so long.

We went into town to the only bar. The night was typical, shots, beer, dancing, Cas being Cas. Sam dragged me out on the dance floor whenever the cheesy 80s music started playing because he knew it was my favorite. The boys were so focused on me having fun. Laughing, drinking, stories, the usual. Only Dean, well he was struggling with something. I couldn't figure it out, maybe he wanted to go with the new waitress and didn't want to spoil my night. I had just sat back down at our table after trying to get Cas to dance to Safety Dance. I'm telling you, there is nothing funnier than watching an Angel trying to get a dance rhythm down.

The waitress kept coming over to the table trying to get Deans attention but I pleaded with Sam to take one for the team so I could be alone with Dean. We both stared at each other in silence, neither willing to make the first move. I licked my lips and Dean grabbed my hand and pulled me out on the floor. He pulled me to him and we slow danced. He must have paid the Dj because they never did this. Blaring through the speakers was Waiting for a Girl Like You by Foreigner.

"Whatcha doing there Dean?" I was a bit tipsy, but I could hear the words, I knew the song. He had a longing in his eyes.

"Shh, just listen. This nights for you. You having fun?"

A drunken giggle escaped, "yup, the most fun I've had in a while actually. Is that why you're dancing with me. Usually, only Sam will dance with me. I know I'm not a bad dancer" I grinned.

"No, no, you're perfect. Its just I wanted to tell you something but...I love you." He seemed so sad.

"I love you too ya moron." I stared into his eyes. "I have since that first night, you came swooping in and saved the day like a knight in shining armor. I was sure I was a goner and poof and knight in denim and leather." The song had stopped but he still held on swaying back and forth. I put my hands on his face and pressed my lips to his. There was a crushing urgency between us. I could hear Sam whistling from across the bar, "finally" he yelled. I stopped and looked at Dean with a frown, "I think I'm going to be sick." I ran to the bathroom. Great job genius, he finally tells you how he loves you and you have to run away and puke because of one too many shots. Dean walked back to the table dumbstruck.

"What happened, why'd she run away?" Sam and Cas looked concerned.

"I told her I loved her, she said she knew and loved me too, kissed me and then had to run away because the thought of that made her want to puke." He looked so dejected and sad, but Sam just laughed like an idiot.

"Dean, go get her and let's take her home." Sam kept laughing and tried to explain to Cas why it was so funny.

The drive home was a bit of a blur. I did puke, between the combination of the shots, dancing, and butterflies in my stomach after hearing him say he loved me, I just lost it. So attractive, I'm betting he's regretting tonight now. Sam and Cas sat in the back and Dean and me in the front. I was tired but sobering up and felt like an idiot, but I threw the chips to the wind and laid my head in his lap. I wrapped an arm around his leg. "I'm sorry, " I whispered, "that was very unattractive." He laughed a throaty laugh and started playing with my hair.

"Don't worry, not the worst that's ever happened to me. We're almost home and I'll tuck you into bed. We can talk more in the morning." I drifted to sleep, I could feel him carrying me out of the car, down the stairs, through the hall, and into my room. He placed me on my bed, took off my boots and covered me up in a blanket. He brushed my hair out my face and kissed my forehead before leaving my room.

I didn't sleep very long before my brain took over and woke me out of the slumber. He said he loved me, he played with my hair, he kissed my forehead...wait, we kissed. We kissed on the dance floor. Stupid, stupid, stupid, I should have known something was up, why did I drink? I crawled out of bed and brushed my teeth, staring at myself in the mirror. You can't let him think you puked over kissing him. He'll still be up, go talk to him, don't wait until morning you'll lose your courage. I crept down the hall, I could hear Sam in the library, who knows where Cas was. I stood in front of his door and knocked.

"It's open." I pushed the door open in time to see him taking off his shirt. "Hiya sunshine, thought you'd be conked out for the night, what's up?" I couldn't focus so well staring at his chest, he smiled, waved a hand in front of my face. "Hey, my eyes are up here."

"Sorry not sorry, I uh, look tonight was unattractive and I get it if you're turned off by..."

"Not in the slightest, I told you I loved you and that meant the good and the bad." He just stood there in all his glory, stupid chiseled chest, it was making me stupid just looking at it. I couldn't take it anymore, I rushed toward him and wrapped my legs around him, my arms around his neck and in his hair, my lips pressed to his. I could feel a moan escape his throat. His hands held onto my ass and gripped tight. He pulled away long enough to star into my eyes, "is this what you want?"

"More than anything," I whispered.

He set me down and tugged off my shirt, his fingers working quickly to undo my bra, he slipped it off and tossed it across the room. His nimble fingers undid the button on my jeans and shimmed them and my panties down to the floor before I stepped out of them. He took a step back and admired the view before he lifted me onto the bed. His lips found mine, there was a hunger in the way he kissed, a longing. His lips left mine and made a trail of kisses south before he stood up and took off his jeans. His eyes hungry and I was his meal. He crawled on top of me and continued to kiss his way across my body until he found my nipple. His traced a circle around it with his tongue before he gave a gentle suck then a quick nip with his teeth. I could feel him growing against my thigh, I moved my hips enough to feel his tip barely touch me. I groaned and whispered, "please."

He thrust inside and groaned. My hands gripped tight into shoulders as we found a rhythm. I wanted to take it slow but I'd waited so long I'd quickened my pace. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. A moan escaped from the both of us. He smiled and rolled us over. He on his back and I straddling him. He placed one hand on my ass pressing me down and in close to him while the other cupped and caressed my breast. I was too excited, too close to the edge and rode faster and harder. He tossed his head back on his pillow and growled out a moan. A guttural primal groan. I was close, I knew he was too. I kept the pace fast, we were there, right on the edge, about to tumble over in ecstasy, when Cas popped into the room.

"Dean I found a case and we need..."

"Damn it Cas, don't you knock." He tried his best to cover us up but I already jumped off wrapping the sheet around me and Dean put a pillow over himself.

"I...uh...sorry you two." As quick as he popped into the room, he disappeared.

"Wait, babe don't go." The desperate look in his eyes. "Stay please."

"No, that was a sign, this...this was a mistake. I'll just end up another notch on your bedpost." I was scrambling to find my clothes.

"NO! It's not like that with you I swear. I'm not that guy anymore, I swore no other women except for you." He sat up pleading with. "I love you, I truly love you."

I was scared, I'd never felt this way about anyone ever. It was intense and too much. I grabbed my clothes and ran to my room. I could hear him try and scramble after me but I was too fast. I was in my room, slammed the door shut and locked it. This was too much. The longing and desire for him were so intense it hurt. Love wasn't supposed to hurt. I felt like I was having a panic attack. I was overwhelmed. I could hear him knocking on my door. "Please let me in. I love you, there isn't anyone else but you I swear."

"This is too much for me Dean, I need time. This is too intense, I'm freaking out."

"Take your time, but I swear to you my playboy days are over, it's only you."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

We had just finished up case emptying a nest of ghouls. It wasn't the cleanest we've ever looked. Sam couldn't get the motel room door open fast enough before he rushed into the bathroom. Chuck forbid ghoul bits to stay in that walking ad for a shampoo commercial hair of his any longer than needed. It was a late night, all of us covered in ghoul bits, dirt, and exhaustion. Dean took off his jacket and smacked dust and goo off his clothes.

"You know, if you would have sprung for your own room, you wouldn't have to wait for the male model to get out of the shower." Damn that snarky smile could light up a room.

"Yeah well, how else am I going to see you saunter around in your boxers humming I'm too Sexy?"

"I do NOT do that!" He looked deeply offended.

"Oh, so that didn't happen three weeks ago in Washington while we were hunting that Wendigo?" I raised my eyebrows and pursed my lips.

He bit his bottom lip and gave a slight smile. "You got me there, maybe, just maybe and that's a hypothetical maybe that I did do that. I thought you were asleep."

"Nope, wide awake staring at your ass actually." I grinned ear to ear and dodged the pillow he tossed at my head. My clothes were grimy and I was sick of waiting on Sam. I started pulling clean clothes out of my bag. I tugged off my t-shirt, kicked off my boots and started to shimmy out of my jeans. I could hear bed springs behind me and he sat down.

"You have got to stop doing that or one of these days I'm going to help you." I knew his eyes were trained on me. Since that night his eyes followed me where ever I went. I turned my head to face him.

"Mhm, like you helped that bartender a few nights ago, or that waitress last week. No thanks. I don't want to be a notch on your bedpost." I tried to keep my face as serious as possible but I was fooling myself. I wanted that man with a fiery passion and the intensity of it scared me.

He shook his head and sighed. "You, you'd be different. I told you how I felt about you but you won't believe me. Yes, I flirted with those women, but I didn't sleep with them. I told you last month I wouldn't touch another woman unless she was you."

I stood there staring at his face, a few hours ago I felt powerful and invincible taking out those ghouls, now looking into those eyes, I had to grasp at any remaining willpower I had. Sam finally walked out of the bathroom drying his hair, he looked back and forth between us a little confused.

"What's up, guys?"

"Nothing Sammy, she's just reading me the riot act telling me lettuce on a burger doesn't count as a vegetable."

"Well she's right, it doesn't. Speaking of food, I'll run out. Beer?"

"Stupid question Sam, you should know better than that." I stuck out my tongue at him and threw a pillow at his face. He laughed and left the room.

"Are we ever going to talk about us or just hope Sam interrupts every time we try?" He kicked off his boots and was pulling off his shirt. "Because if after all this time and you really don't want me, I need to know, so I can move on. Cuz having to look at you every day and not being able to kiss you again is killing me."

"Dean that was a drunken mistake. I should never have kissed you or climbed into bed with you."

"No, that wasn't a drunken mistake at least not for me, I was stone cold sober that night. I didn't drink so you and Sam could have fun, blow off steam after being stuck on the bunker for so long. He thought the waitress was cute, and you couldn't push him away from the table fast enough to be alone with me. You knew what you were saying you are just too damned scared to admit it."

"Admit it! Admit that every day for the past year I've bee in love with a man who barely gives me a second glance. A giant man-child who hides my books, drinks my imported beer, steals my leftovers and thinks its funny to fill my iPod with Bieber!"

He walked over to me so we were standing toe to toe. "Yes admit it, because I did. I told you I was in love with you. I told you I wanted nothing more than to wake up to your face every morning, and if anyone would have my back more than Sam it was you. I see you, I've seen you every damned day for a year now. Did you ever think that I did that shit because I'm an immature idiot and don't know how to act around someone like you? You're too smart, better fighter and everything about you makes me feel inferior. I'm not good enough for you but damned if I haven't tried to be this past year."

"Dean..." he cut me off.

"No you listen, I love you and I've loved you since the first night I laid eyes on you. You stood there with your back to a tree with six Vamps surrounding you and before I could even get to you, you took two down on your own. I notice you, and every day I notice something new, something that makes me love you even more than the day before and its aggravating that you won't believe me"

I don't know why but I shoved him. "You are an idiot!" I pushed him again he just stared, clenching that stupid chiseled jaw of his. "You are more deserving of love than anyone." I shoved him again and his legs hit the bed and he fell backward. He glared up at me with those candy apple green eyes. I lost it, all willpower totally gone. I crawled on top of him staring into those eyes. All self-control is gone, I couldn't help myself. He bit his bottom lip and I gave in crushing my lips to his.

His head lifted up to meet mine. His lips were soft and warm, his hands reached up and held my face. I could feel a guttural groan from within his throat. Remember that sound from the first excited me more. The kissing became more feverish, he parted my lips with his tongue and darted it in my mouth. The warmth of it as it twisted and rolled around mine. His hands searched to free me from the shackles of my bra. He slid it off and threw it across the room as if daring it to come back and cover me up again.

I sat up straddling him, his eyes scanning every inch of my exposed skin. He grinned as he caressed my breasts. He bit his bottom lip as he pinched my nipples in between his thumb and forefinger. The warmth of his hands sent shivers down my spine. He ran his fingers along the scar of the stab wound I had gotten from the shifter a couple months ago. His eyes crinkled as he touched it, somewhere between a happy and sad expression.

One second I'm staring into those eyes, then next he flipped me over onto my back. Those green eyes piercing my very soul. He kissed my lips slowly and just like that night began kissing a trail southwards. He shot up alert and crossed the room, opening the motel room door and hung the 'Do Not Disturb' sign around the knob, he sketched out some Enochian runes on the wall. With a big grin on his face, "no more interruptions, now, where was I?"

He started kissing my scar when he hit my jeans he easily undid the button and slid everything off. I was fully exposed and at his mercy. He was raring to go and entered, I shuttered and groaned. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer. I needed him, every inch of him, I quickened my pace. I didn't care about taking my time, I wanted him, I needed him. He growled in excitement, crushing his lips to mine. I bit my lip and motioned for him to roll over. I had him pinned down now, at my mercy. A devilish grin on my face as I looked down at him. I rode him like there was no tomorrow, the sounds of his moans brought me closer to the brink. He was so close himself, I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up so he was sitting up while I rode him. I wrapped my arms around him tight and he did the same. Rocking faster and harder, harder and faster until he let out a primal growl and his whole body began to shutter. I wasn't done, his eyes pleading, I pushed him back down, tossed my head back and rode him until I saw stars and moaned out his name. I collapsed on top of him panting, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my lips. Our breathing heavy, we could hear the engine of the Impala rolling up in the parking lot. I laughed, quickly jumped out of bed grabbing my clothes and ran into the bathroom.

"Hey, that's not fair." He growled. I knew he was smiling.

"Alls fair in love and war Dean. Let him in before he leaves, I'm starving."

Dean put on his jeans and opened the door. He smiled at Sam and grabbed the takeout bags. Sam stared at him for a second quizzically before he saw the disarray of clothes.

"About damned time." laughing like an idiot.

"Shut up Sam." Dean couldn't help it, he was grinning ear to ear.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Not gonna lie, the next couple of months were rough. We should have been happy and there were plenty of happy moments, but the both of us knew that good things for us never last. Dean had had plenty of heartache and loss in his life already, hell the both of us had. Every time we'd let our guard down and just be happy, truly, stupidly happy, one of us would get scared that it would get ripped away from us, so we constantly had fights over nothing important. It reminded me of something I read in a book once, 'When you have something good, don't play with it. Don't take chances with it. Don't take risks with it. When you have something good, you give every single thing you can. Because when you take care of that something good, that something good takes care of you.'

He was more concerned with me during hunts than he ever was before. It caused more injuries than needed. Several times he'd jump in front of me and push me behind him to take the brunt of whatever blow was coming my way. We used to briefly hold hands before we let loose our rage on whatever we were hunting, but now, he pushes me off to the side and yells about me possibly getting hurt or makes me stay in the motel or the bunker. Claims he has to keep me safe, that it's too dangerous out there for me. I don't see how it was any more dangerous for me out there hunting now than a few months ago.

On a hunt, some werewolves had gotten the jump on us. He was more concerned about me getting hurt than killing the damned things. He had shoved me out of the path of one but he pushed too hard. I lost my footing, fell and cracked my head on a rock. Nothing major according to Cas, just enough to knock me out. When I came to in the motel room, he was pacing back and forth next to the bed.

"What is wrong with you, you could have gotten yourself killed? Can't you pay attention to whats around you?" He was angry, with a hint of scared. Sam and Cas just stared at him incredulously. Neither could believe his sudden change in tone. Just five nights before they were throwing popcorn at us because we wouldn't stop being cutesy annoying during movie night.

"Dean, what is wrong with you? You shoving her caused this, not her inability to watch her own feet." Cas sounded almost spiteful as he spoke to Dean.

"No, she didn't see the one running in from the side. I kept her from getting scratched or worse bitten."

"Dean, you did this, not her. I don't know whats going on with you man but you've got to chill out." Sam blew a breath out and sighed. "Listen, man, she grew up in this life, just like Mom did. She's a better hunter than the both of us combined and she's only better. Between the sparring, the martial arts training, the guns, knives and everything she reads in the bunker, Bobby would have adopted her in a heartbeat and the English would have fought him to make her a Women of Letters. Whatever's going on in your head, you gotta deal with it, man."

"Do I get a say in all of this or is my life going to be decided for me by another man?" I sat up and reached for the aspirin and water Sam was handing me.

"No, you don't get a say in anything. You don't get a vote." Dean scowled at me.

"Well, then you can go fuck yourself and the high horse you rode in on because I'm not going to let anyone tell me what I can and cannot do anymore. If you're scared I'm going to get hurt on a hunt then you need to find your balls and man up. Either figure out what your issue is or break up with me because none of this was an issue until we started fucking Dean."

He stalked off in the night to find the nearest bar with Cas on his tail, he didn't come back until the crack of dawn. Crawled into bed and started to put his arm around me but pulled back and moved as far away from me on the bed as possible. "I don't deserve you, I never did." He whispered.

"Shut up and get back over here before you make me cry again, Dean," I whispered.

He rolled over and moved closer to me, putting his arms around me and pulling me into him. His head curled above mine, his breathing heavy, I could feel the wetness in my hair. "I'm not strong enough, I can't handle losing you. I don't want to fight, I'm just scared to lose you."

"I know, but acting out like this isn't going to make anything better. Dean, you have to trust that things will be alright, they won't be perfect and I may get hurt, you may get hurt, but there's nothing that would stop me from coming back to you." I gripped his hands and squeezed them tight.

"You're a stubborn ass, you know that." I could hear the smirk on his face.

"Yup, and you deserve more than I can give you, but I try to love you the best I can Dean. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have anything in the world."

"Someday when the world is calm, I want to marry you."

"Dean you're obviously drunk and probably won't remember this conversation, so I'm going to ignore that terrible proposal." I chuckled.

"Mhm, we'll see." He squeezed me tighter.

I seemed to be the only one dedicated to this relationship most of the time, he seemed to constantly be waiting for the other shoe to drop. He was having mood swings more often, his drinking picked up a bit and some nights he could just be downright cold, but then on the other nights, he was a perfect loving doting boyfriend. I wish I could take his fears away from him so he could just be happy. That's all I ever wanted for him was to be happy. To feel loved, cared for, adored, appreciated, needed, but a month after we started dating his nightmares began.

At first, he was just calling out my name in his sleep, but over it progressed into full-on spasms and screaming. His cries for me were so loud they had Cas and Sam rushing down the hall and burst into his room thinking something was attacking him. He thrashed around in his sleep as if he was fighting whatever he was screaming at. I did my best to wake him from the nightmares. I was trying my best to wake him but hunter reflexes. Sam and Cas had walked in on Dean punching me in my face in his sleep. He was screaming, "Stay away from her you son of a bitch, I'll kill you if you touch her again."

Sam slammed him to the ground and started yelling at him, "What the hell are you doing? You just punched her in the face you asshole!" He pushed him down and held him to the floor.

Dean jerked awake, "What! What's going on? Get off me, Sam. What happened?" He tried to sit up but Sam was so angry he had Dean pinned to the floor.

"You were screaming and we walked in on you punching her in the face! What's going on with you man?" It had been awhile since I'd seen such a look of anger and terror on Sam's face.

"I did what?!" He tried to scramble up off the floor, his eyes scanning the room for me, when he finally saw me he lost it and started hitting his head against the floor. "No, no, no, no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was dreaming and he had you, he was torturing you. I had to stop it." Tears rolled down his cheeks, "I'm sorry, please baby believe me I'm sorry."

Cas was about to heal the massive bruise starting to appear on my cheek, but I brushed his hand away. "Don't fix me Cas, fix him. It doesn't matter what I say, what I do or how much I show him I love him, he still thinks I'm going away." I hated to cry but I was so damned frustrated, the tears streamed down my face. "You deserve to be loved Dean Winchester whether you believe it or not and I am not walking out that door, I'm not leaving, I'm not dying, I'm not going anywhere. Now you either get your fucking shit together and deal with whatever you've got going on in your head or I'll find a damned spell to wipe out this fear all together! And if it I did die, you really think Crowley would put up with me for more than five minutes. He'd haul my ass out of hell himself and deliver me in perfect health straight to your door!"

"She's right you know, Crowley is terrified of her. I can feel it anytime he's near her." Cas, always pointing out the obvious in a no-frills manner.

"Let him up Sam, he honestly didn't mean it and I'm not holding it against him." Sam shoved Dean in the chest before he hopped off him and walked out of the room, Cas following behind.

Dean sprang up off the floor and rushed to me. He gingerly touched my cheek and fell to his knees, putting his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't want to lose you and these nightmares. Every night I see you die and I can't...I can't lose you."

Dean and Sam had just gotten back from a hunt. I had stayed behind because he refused to let me go, he was still having issues. So I decided to do some research for a case I'd found and was about to head out on, Cas had offered to go with me to keep me company, but I told him I was perfectly fine. Dean didn't like the idea of me going alone but it's not like the boys were machines, sometimes we had to break up the band to battle the forces of evil you know. He knew I was getting ready to leave, but instead, he chose to start a fight.

"Hey, where's my pie? I had a slice of pie left in the fridge, did you eat it?" I could hear him yelling from the kitchen and he stormed into the library. He looked at me sternly.

"No I didn't touch your pie, you ate it last night after chugging a bottle of whiskey because you were pissy that I kicked your ass in pool at the bar," I smirked.

"Whatever, you ate my pie just to piss me off didn't you?" He clenched his jaw and glared.

"Alrighty then, its fight o'clock time again. First off, I didn't eat your damned pie, why would I when I could have just made my own from scratch. Two, I don't know what's crawled up your ass tonight, but I'm not dealing with it. You want to get all man pissy again, I'm going out." I grabbed my bag off the library table and started for the stairs.

"No, you're not going anywhere." He reached for my arm.

"Dean you're not my Dad, you're my boyfriend. You don't get to tell me what I can and cannot do. I'm not going to spend another night trying to play mindreader with you trying to figure out whats going on."

"Don't go out, just stay put." His jaw was clenched and he just glared.

"Whatever, I'm going to MY room, ALONE!" I threw my bag back on the table and stormed off to my room slamming the shut and locking it behind me.

I knew he was on my heels, no sooner than I locked the door than he came knocking on it. "Babe, I'm sorry. I'm trying. I don't...I don't know how to deal with this. This is a whole new ballgame to me."

"Dean, I can't keep fighting with you like this. Its been three months of mood swings. You need to get over this fear. I get it, I do, I really do. I lost my entire family in front of my eyes. I lost everything, in one night. Don't you think I still have nightmares about that? Don't you think I have nightmares of losing you too? Of losing Sam or Cas?" I slid down the door and leaned against it. I could hear him do the same. "I had nightmares every night for a month after coming here. Sam helped with them. They still happened just less frequent. I know you know what I'm talking about. I could smell you outside my door every night Dean. I knew you were there, every night outside my door. Just listening to me talk to Sam."

"He got to the door five seconds before I did. I could hear the pain in your voice and I knew what that felt like. Its what I felt like in Hell and after I got out. The pain, the agony, you want someone to hold you and tell you it's alright and things will get better, but at the same time, you don't want to appear weak. No matter what you do the nightmares and the images never leave your head. You can't drink them away, can't push them down deep enough. They're just there, always there and every time you get an ounce, just a tiny ounce of happiness in your life and that pain and fear comes crawling up your throat and fills your brain with stupidity."

"You know we are exactly the same right? That's why we fit so well together. We get along better than most and when we fight we know exactly what buttons to push, and I could have been hitting some doozy these last months, but I bit my tongue. If you're trying to push me away, you're doing a good job. I know you don't want to lose me but you realize by acting this way, that's what could happen right?"

"Yes, I know." I could hear his head bounce against the door.

"Is that what you want, me to go?" My heart was beating a mile a minute, I was afraid of his answer.

"No, I want you to stay me. I want walks along a beach and a bonfire, I want to listen to thunderstorms and the rain hitting the hood of the car as we're laying the back seat, I want to see you walk down the aisle in a white dress. I want to see you rocking our child to sleep humming Hey Jude, but I've spent my whole life having to be the big protector, the badass."

"And you're afraid to appear vulnerable?"

"Yeah. The second I let my guard down it seems like the shoe drops and boom, life's back to being miserable."

"Have I ever been one to lie, to you that is?"

"Not once, not even a white lie, and I know when someones lying." He let out a throaty laugh.

"Well then listen to me, and I mean really fucking listen to me, Dean. You are smart. You are so intelligent and I mean in ways Sam could never be. You build emf detectors out of broken walkmans and cd players, you're a mechanical engineer, a freaking marvel. You can build a car from scrap parts, build a bomb, Molotov cocktails out of garbage scraps.

"Stop"

"No, I'm going to open this door and you're going to shut the hell up, sit on my bed and listen to me or so help me, Chuck, I will never and I mean never bake you a pie again in my life." I stood up and unlocked the door, he was scrambling to get up. He stared at the floor, walked past me and sat on my bed. When he finally looked me in my eyes, it broke my heart. He was devastated and heartbroken over how he'd been acting over the past few months. You could see the torment that he had brought on himself over his behavior.

"Continue." His eyes glistened and darted back and forth over my face, ashamed to look at me.

"Dean Winchester, you are kind, brave, loyal, smart, humble, selfless, charming, have a heart of gold, you put everyone else's safety and well-being in front of your own. You deserved to be saved from yourself and you deserve to be loved and if you didn't think so you never would have asked me to marry you in a drunken stupor. You are so wonderful and could be so much happier if you'd just stop hating yourself."

"You deserve sunsets and a big house, a fenced in yard with a garden, a guy who can give you the world and everything you want, but I'm drunk with barely a high school education, $10 bucks to my name, severe PTSD and an overly co-dependent relationship with my brother." He sighed and went back to looking at the floor.

"I don't want a big house, not when I have a bunker. I get sunsets whenever we drive in the Impala. A diploma doesn't mean I'm smarter than you or your less than I am. As far as money, well that's never been my thing. I love Sam as the brother I wished mine had been and I'm fine with how you idiots are with each other. You're all the family you've got. I would rather have a bottle of beer, a burger and share a basket of fries with you in some run down bar in whatever podunk town we're driving through than some fancy uptight restaurant. When are you going to get it? To quote Dom Toretto, 'ride or die'.

He smiled at the cheesy movie reference. "I can't promise that I won't get mad every once in awhile or that I won't say something stupid."

"I Know, a day without you saying something stupid is always the saddest day," I smirked at him and laughed.

"Besides, you just admitted you wanted a future, a wife and a kid and all that. You think I'm going to leave because you want that? Did I ever say that I didn't want that either?"

"No, you didn't. Are we ok or did I screw this up?" He looked so tortured.

"Besides the fact you can't live without black licorice, yes we are better than before."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with licorice." He smiled.

"I didn't say there was, just black licorice." I walked the few steps to him and pulled his head into my chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I'm not going anywhere Winchester and even if I do, I'd crawl out or fall out of where ever I am to get back to you."

"I love you." He held his arms around me and squeezed. "I should go to my room..."

"You mean our room?" I smiled, grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall to his room.

"Yeah, our room." He laughed. "I like that, does this mean you're finally going to move into our room?"

"Hmm mostly, I'm still keeping this one cuz every girl needs her space sometimes." I grinned ear to ear, "besides, where else I am going to keep my terrible music that you loathe?"

"Mhm, good point."

I kicked off my boots, slipped out of my clothes and laid in bed, Dean curled up next to me and pulled me into him. His lips crushing mine, the softness of those lips, the warmth. I rested my head on his chest and put an arm over his stomach. He encased his arms around me. "If you don't want the house, the fence, the garden, I'm assuming you don't want the church either?"

I couldn't help but laugh, "No, why would I when it could just as easily be done in Vegas in the Impala or even by Cas in a meadow surrounded by his precious honey bees."

His deep throaty laugh vibrated through his chest and bounced my head. "Would you still wear white?"

"Sure why not, who says I can't wear combat boots instead of heels anyway."

"That's my girl." He kissed my forehead and played with my hair as we both fell asleep.


End file.
